The Shipping Philosophers Have Spoken
As foretold by the wise ones, we have reached the time of patience throughout the land.
Delays are many this fastidious and festive season as our holiday orders keep rolling in and as the mighty USPS and UPS and all the delivery services muddle through temperamental weather.
The hard-working workers are working hard, and we’re doing our part by keeping our Holiday Shipping Schedule up-to-date for the most current estimates possible.
*** In short, you can expect our warehouse to take up to 5 business days to process your order ***
TAKE HEED
Please read carefully for the latest information to give your gifts the best chance for delivery by Saturday, December 24th, 2022!
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For destinations within the CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES
Through Thursday, December 8th
Any shipping method is acceptable.
Starting Friday, December 9th
Any UPS delivery service is acceptable.
Starting Friday, December 16th
Only UPS 2-Day and UPS Overnight are acceptable.
Starting Wednesday, December 21st Through the end of the day
Your only option: choose overnight shipping at check-out.
Starting Thursday, December 22nd onward there is little hope for your order to arrive by Thursday, December 24th
But fear not! There is always the ever-green promise of an electronic
UPG Gift Certificate should you wish to grace your recipient with a UPG product.
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For UNITED STATES TERRITORIES including American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands
Friday, December 9th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.
For orders shipping to CANADA
Monday, November 28th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.
For orders shipping to MEXICO or the MIDDLE EAST
End-of-day Sunday, November 6th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.
For orders to ALL OTHER COUNTRIES
End-of-day Sunday, November 13th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.
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Will gift recipients see prices or my billing info?
PACKING SLIPS AND CHARGES
When you order directly from The Unemployed Philosophers Guild website (PhilosophersGuild.com), the shipment arrives with a packing slip that lists the items in the shipment. However, no prices or billing information appears on packing slips, individual items, or packaging.
Receipts are emailed separately to the sender’s email account at time of checkout.
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The Shipping Philosophers are jarringly wise; however, they possess limited power over jam-packed seasonal delivery trucks, Mother Nature, or entropy… and this keeps them humble. We implore your patience and compassion and thank you in advance for your understanding of utilitarianism, the categorical imperative, and thermodynamics.
Help! I am a seeker of wisdom…or just confused and crave audience with the Oracle at UPG.
UPG’s expert Shipping Philosophers are available for discourse and prognostication during philosophical business hours:
Monday through Friday 9:30AM to 5:00PM-ish Brooklyn Ivory Tower time
(except November 24th & 25th, December 24th & 25th, and January 1st ).
You may call or email to receive your
COMPLIMENTARY SHIPPING CONSULTATION
sales@PhilosophersGuild.com
800.255.8371
718.243.9492
Should it transpire there is no solution so – crazy – it – just – might – work… they’ll suggest a UPG Gift Certificate and appropriate revivifying beverage.
