Holiday Shipping


You might order without following these Guidelines and you might get lucky. Or not.

These Guidelines give you the best chance for
delivery in time for Tuesday, December 25, 2018
based on schedules provided by USPS and UPS.


All times are Eastern Time (see below for Help with Time).

We humbly acknowledge our power over crowded delivery trucks, Mother Nature, and entropy is limited. We know this. You know this. Let’s go—



BEFORE 10:00AM Thursday, December 13th

Any shipping method is acceptable.


AFTER 10:01AM Thursday, December 13th

Choose expedited shipping at check-out.


AFTER 10:00AM Monday, December 17th

UPS 2-day is required at check-out.


FROM 10:00AM Tuesday, December 18th 
UNTIL 9:59AM Thursday, December 20th

Your only option is to choose overnight shipping at check-out.

If you order after 9:59AM on Thursday, December 20, 2018,
we cannot guarantee your order will arrive by Tuesday, December 25th
(yes, even with overnight shipping).


For the best chance of on-time delivery for
Standard International


Middle East

We recommend ordering before November 21, 2018.


All other countries

(including Canada)

We recommend ordering before November 28, 2018.

USPS Priority International

We recommend ordering before December 6, 2018.

Starting December 7, 2018, contact us to see what, if any, additional expedited shipping options may be available.



UPG’s Expert Shipping Philosophers are available during business hours:
Monday through Friday 9:30AM to 5:00PM-ish
(except November 22nd & 23rd and December 25th & 26th)


They’ll help you figure things out:




If you’ve missed a shipping deadline, they’ll see if there are last-ditch heroic efforts to be made.

If there’s no solution is so crazy that it just… might… work, they’ll suggest a swift delivery UPG Gift Certificate.

Our Expert Shipping Philosophers are pretty darned smart and nice – so be good to them, for they are authorized to send agents provocateurs straight to the UPG office in Fornax constellation galaxy CDF-S XTl where they may wait on hold until they are swallowed by a black hole. Yum.




To find out current Eastern Time:

Call your local library.

Drive yourself crazy calculating plus and minus hours and try to remember that Spring-forward-Fall-back thing works. Your choice.