Holiday Shipping

The Shipping Philosophers Have Spoken

As foretold by the wise ones, we have reached the time of patience throughout the land. 

Delays are many this fastidious and festive season:

*     as our holiday orders keep rolling in

*     as postal operations are disrupted both at home and abroad

*     as the mighty USPS and UPS and all the delivery services muddle through temperamental weather

The hard-working workers are working hard, and we’re doing our part by keeping our Holiday Shipping Schedule up-to-date for the most current estimates possible.

*** In short, you can expect our warehouse to take up to 5 business days to process your order ***

 

TAKE HEED

Please read carefully for the latest information to give your gifts the best chance for delivery by Friday, December 24th, 2021!

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For destinations within the CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES

Through Wednesday, December 8th

Any shipping method is acceptable. 

 

Starting Thursday, December 9th

Any UPS delivery service is acceptable.

 

Starting Monday, December 13th

Only UPS 2-Day and UPS Overnight are acceptable.

 

Starting Monday, December 20th  Through the end of the day

Your only option: choose overnight shipping at check-out.

 

Starting Tuesday, December 21st onward there is little hope for your order to arrive by Thursday, December 24th

But fear not! There is always the ever-green promise of an electronic

UPG Gift Certificate should you wish to grace your recipient with a UPG product.

 

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For UNITED STATES TERRITORIES including American Samoa, Guam, the Northern Mariana Islands, Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands

Wednesday, December 8th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.

 

For orders shipping to CANADA

Tuesday, November 23rd is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.

  

For orders shipping to MEXICO or the MIDDLE EAST

End-of-day Sunday, November 7th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.

 

For orders to ALL OTHER COUNTRIES

End-of-day Sunday, November 14th is the last day to order for a reasonable chance of delivery by December 24th.

 

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Will gift recipients see prices or my billing info?

PACKING SLIPS AND CHARGES  

When you order directly from The Unemployed Philosophers Guild website (PhilosophersGuild.com), the shipment arrives with a packing slip that lists the items in the shipment. However, no prices or billing information appears on packing slips, individual items, or packaging.

Receipts are emailed separately to the sender’s email account at time of checkout.

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The Shipping Philosophers are jarringly wise; however, they possess limited power over jam-packed seasonal delivery trucks, Mother Nature, or entropy… and this keeps them humble. We implore your patience and compassion and thank you in advance for your understanding of utilitarianism, the categorical imperative, and thermodynamics.

Help! I am a seeker of wisdom…or just confused and crave audience with the Oracle at UPG.

UPG’s expert Shipping Philosophers are available for discourse and prognostication during philosophical business hours: 
Monday through Friday 9:30AM to 5:00PM-ish  Brooklyn Ivory Tower time 
(except November 25th & 26th, December 24th & 25th,, and January 1st ).

You may call or email to receive your

COMPLIMENTARY SHIPPING CONSULTATION

sales@PhilosophersGuild.com

800.255.8371              

718.243.9492

Should it transpire there is no solution so – crazy – it – just – might – work… they’ll suggest a UPG Gift Certificate and appropriate revivifying beverage.