Questions Frequently Asked

If you are really unemployed, how come you have a job?

In fact, we are employed, just not as philosophers.

Are you really philosophers?

Not for a living. But we do philosophize.

What if I need to add to my order and I've already received a confirmation?

Call us at 718 243-9492. Odds are the order has already been sent to our warehouse and you will need to place another order for the additional items. But if you get us in time we can make the change for you.

Is absolute zero the same thing as 0 degrees Celsius?

No. Absolute zero is much colder.

Is your site secure?


Are your mugs microwavable, and are they Dishwasher safe?

All of the mugs are microwavable. For the disappearing variety of mug we don't suggest machine washing, as they may disappear forever, but for the regular mugs like the Math Mug and Shakespearean Insults, you may safely machine wash.

How do I pay for stuff on your site ?

Visa, mastercard, amex, discover, personal check, paypal, amazon, google and in some cases barter.

Is there a store selling your products near me?

Contact us via phone or email and we can find out!

Why don’t you make a Martin Luther King puppet, or a Daniel Boone card or Winnie the Pooh mints?

We are always working on new ideas for products. We may not have gotten to your favorite historical figure yet. Many fictional and historical figures, especially those from the 20th century, are not in the public domain, which prevents us from reproducing their likeness.

Why don’t you make items showing more women or people of color?

See last answer. We are always looking to diversify our line. Feel free to email suggestions of new products to us.

Do you sell wholesale?

Yes we do, for resale purposes only. If you are interested in setting up a wholesale account, click HERE. If you are a retail customer who wishes to order a large volume of a single product, a discount may be available. send us an email to discuss.

Are all the mints really the same?

How could they be? Most are peppermint flavored, but obviously The Morning After Mint is different from the Manly Mint.

Do you ship worldwide?

We do! Our site will allow you to order from most places on planet earth. It will also compute freight charges for you, however these prices are subject to revision and you may be contacted about them before we ship.

Are your mints and Food for Thought Bars kosher and/or safe for vegetarians and vegans?

The mints and bars are kosher (KSA) and the mints are vegan. You can read our mint nutritional information by clicking HERE. You can read our bar nutritional information by clicking HERE

Where are your products made?

Some of our products are made in China, but not all:

Our t-shirts are made in the USA
Our mints are made in the USA
Our Secular Saint candles are made in the USA
Our soaps are made in the USA
Our watch movements are made in Japan

How do you come up with ideas for products?

Every finger puppet and coffee mug is the product of extensive research and planning. What-- you think unemployed philosophers waste their time lying around under a tree? Okay, it’s true Siddhartha attained enlightenment while sitting under the bodhi tree and became a Buddha, so that was hardly a waste of time. But most people sitting under trees are wasting time. Alright, so Isaac Newton’s Universal Law of Gravitation was the result of sitting under a tree and seeing an apple drop, but that’s just another expression that proves the rule. Before we get mail, yes, Joyce Kilmer probably put in some time under trees before he wrote the poem -- ditto Robert Frost, who probably stopped under them as much as he stopped by them. Can we get off the topic of trees a minute? We live in New York City and the place is not overrun with them, anyway.

Do you take suggestions for products?

Rarely. As we have illustrated, ideas grow on trees.

Why can't I move objects with my mind?

Many of our customers have this ability. Perhaps you need a tin of ENLIGHTENMINTS. To suggest a FAQ or to simply ask a question EMAIL US at the Unemployed Philosophers Guild.